Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Randomize
