today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
