I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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