dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
