My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
