i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's never too late to be topless.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
