Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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