btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
