Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize