I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
