I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
