Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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