Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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