You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
