did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
