Come see our sink grown plant.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
