My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize