Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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