Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
