You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
