Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
