i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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