Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
