I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
