Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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