So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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