I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
