wat bout pragnant strippers??
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
