All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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