I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
