After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
