Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
