When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
