Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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