You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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