I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
