I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
