You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
