covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
