well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
