i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
