OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
