i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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