her vagine was all disorganized.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
