Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
