do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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