i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How many fucks given?
0.12846
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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