We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
