just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
