just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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