..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
