I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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