i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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