hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize