Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
