Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
