he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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