I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
