that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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