I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
