I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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