Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
