He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
